JonJonisms

Mine

Warning: the words that come out of this mouth may or may not be the opinions of the brain attached.
The mind's own deception is a marvelous thing; it has the power to make kings out of men and men out of kings.
If at first you don't succeed, plug it in. If you still don't succeed, press the "on" button. If you still don't succeed, kick it. If you still don't succeed, hit it with the sledge hammer. If you still don't succeed, dig through the trash can for the directions.
I try ... when I can ... nights and weekends ... five cents a minute ... kinda like a Sprint plan ...
You mean you've never had CHAI???
You win em, you lose em, and then there's me.
"... and her grandmother smiled ..."
Linda! Oy. Lav ya, dearie!
Don't worry about what you think you are. Become what you want to be.
Who knew da's could be so profound? — about Vocal Jazz
Don't ever come between me and my Father. Don't make me choose. That's a decision that's painful and easy for me to make. Lift me up, complement, and encourage me spiritually. Live for and exemplify Christ; then we'll talk.

Favs

Authors — J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Michael Crichton, Edgar Allan Poe ...
Bands & Artists — (No particular order yet) Bobby McFerrin!, Ben Folds Five / Ben Folds, Billy Joel, Jars of Clay, DC Talk, Goo Goo Dolls, Cake, No Doubt, bt (Brian Transeau), Lifehouse, Relient K, Third Eye Blind, Weezer, Barenaked Ladies, Beastie Boys, Chicago, Cibo Matto, Eric Clapton, Counting Crows, Sheryl Crow, Matchbox 20, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morisette, Simon and Garfunkel, Sister Hazel, Blues Brothers, B-52's, Seal, They Might Be Giants, Weird Al Yankovic, Santana, John Williams, Apollo 440, A-Ha, Huey Lewis and the News, Nickelback, Puddle of Mudd, Reel Big Fish, REM, Sublime, The Verve Pipe, The Wiseguys, The Allman Brothers, Quincy Jones, Monty Python, Harry Connick Jr., Jamiroquai, Franz Liszt, Tchaikovski, Mozart ...
Movies — The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Independence Day, Star Trek: First Contact, Star Trek: I-VI, Star Trek: Generations, Road to Perdition, Memento, Fight Club, Frequency, Stargate, Noises Off, Deathtrap, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I-III, Men In Black I & II, Ghostbusters I & II, Indiana Jones I-III, The Mummy I & II, A Beautiful Mind, The Aristocats, 101 Dalmations, The Sword in the Stone, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, Titan A.E., Ferris Bheuler's Day Off, Ronin, Dead Poet's Society, Legally Blonde, Mission: Impossible I & II, Sum of All Fears, Air Force One, Terminator II, Star Wars I-VI, Back to the Future I-III, The Matrix, The Matrix: Reloaded, Lethal Weapon I-IV, Shawshank Redemption, O Brother Where Art Thou?, The Core.
Stores — Wal-Mart!, Best Buy, Circuit City, Electronics Boutique, Radio Shack, Waves Surf Shop (Amelia Island, FL), The Orange Shop (Citra, FL), Biltmore Magic Company (Biltmore Estate, Asheville, NC) ...
Colors — Blue!!!

Quotes

I used to be schitzophrenic, but we're OK now!
If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a sliencer?
Who's on first? ...
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Never underestimate stupid people in large groups!
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? — Jerry Seinfeld
Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap.
Nvr dll mmnt wtht vwls!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
The dyslexic agnostic isn't sure whether to believe in doG.
!Scixelsyd Etinu.
ERROR 406: file corrupt: config.earth -- reboot universe? (Y/N)
As soon as they make it idiot-proof, someone else will come along and make a better idiot!
(Alt) Software Engineering is the battle of making it as idiot-proof as possible while the world strives to produce the ultimate idiot.
Forget world peace ... visualize using your turn signal!
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!
Define irony: A bunch of crazed guys dancing around on a plane to a song that was made famous by a band who died in a plane crash. — Con-Air
Move and the bunny gets it. — Con-Air
Don't think you can. KNOW you can. — The Matrix
Never argue with an idiot, he will lower you to his level, and beat you with experience.
When I went up the stairs, I met a man who wasn't there; He wasn't there again today; How I wish he'd go away. — Identity
Comprehension is not a requisite of cooperation. — The Matrix: Reloaded
If sex had a taste, it would taste like chai. — Ben Jenkins
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. — Harlan Ellison